I don't usually talk

But I have been lately. To-date I've spoken on two panels in the past 2 weeks with my partner. The first was about relationships and of course we were the odd people out (the only queer couple out of two other hetro couples). So that was awkward. We gave great advice. Told our story about our experiences being with one another, but I don't think they could get past the trans thing with me. The other panel we spoke on was one on spirituality and reconciling that with our sexuality. Once again, couldn't get past the trans identity on my side. I'm not really sure where to stand on this. I want to educate people about trans identified people but in the right forum. The spirituality peace I feel like I didn't speak on anything concerning my spirituality and how that has affected my sexuality and vise versa. It doesn't help that I am shy in front of a lot of people (which is another reason why it is strange that I am in front of all these people). One piece of advice I gave the students in the second panel was to get out and tell your personal story. After the panel, I was asked by one of the students how do you get your story out. The answer I gave him was all hypothetical, meaning that this is how I have seen telling a story done. I have not exactly done it myself. I think its time for this though. I want to tell my story. I'm not saying that my story is meant for the movies or anything like that. I think my story is pretty boring compared to most, but what I want to do is build connections. Through story telling, we can build connections with one another. We figure out what we have in common and through that commonality we can build relationships with one another, and a relationship with a person changes many things as far as a certain perspective a person has of another. We all grow up learning the same bigoted prejudice, insane notions about Blacks, gays, Hispanics, trans, and so one. And in many ways we create these untrue notions just because we need ways to feel better about our current situation. That's why Black straight men talk about Black gay men and Black straight women can't be around Black lesbian women. At the end of the day WE ARE ALL STILL BLACK! I have never seen any other race that is willing to tear down another member of the same race so badly. But of course this is my experience. But what I can say is that as a people, people of color have so much unaware internalized sexism, homophobia, classism, racism, and all other types of isms and phobias that its no wonder we have hit a threshold in our being within this world. We are great people. Have always been great people. But we have been poised in our thinking. We have been taught that to succeed we must demean another sector of people to make them feel below us. We are not to work side by side with people that are not like us but to make them our enemy. That is why the Black church is so bent over backwards about homosexuality. It has nothing to do with the Bible (any seasoned and well learned theologian will tell you that). But the reason the Black church is the least accepting of other homosexuality as other sects of people is because we have always been at the bottom compared to everyone else in America. But it was WE!!! Not just gay Blacks or straight Blacks, it was ALL of us. We are being hypocritical by faulting our fellow persons for being gay. We are doing to gay people what has been done to the entire race for years. And to all the possible straight people that may read this, not all gay people want you. And to all gay people out there, all straight people that talk to you are not down low. I really hope that as a people we get this together. While we have many men and women that think as I do on this topic, we need more. I don't think Black people understand they type of force we have as a people. We have the ability to rise up and be as one huge force if we would get over our minimal differences and look at the bigger picture of us being BLACK!
I think I'm finally ready to tell my story. I want others to hear it and hopefully not feel alone like I did when I experienced what I experienced. And hopefully through my story, others will see how it connects to their story and we can have even more positive building within our community.