Moving on from Strayer

At a little over 2.5 years here in Charlotte, I am happy to say that I am finally moving on from Strayer University. While every experience, both positive and negative, have the potential to be learning experiences, I can say that my time at Strayer was a hard lesson in growing up and owning my actions. But before I get into why I decided to leave, let me say what the last two years have brought me:

• After many years of angst, I finally got top surgery in 2014. If it hadn't been for me having my NC retirement from my previous job and having the opportunity to withdraw it, I would still be on the road to saving and enjoying life less because of how I felt on the inside. Also, doing outdoor activities (brewery tours, brewing, hiking, fishing, dog playing) in a binder FUCKING SUCKS! If it hadn't been for Strayer, I wouldn't have had the time I needed to recover, grow into my new body, and pursue what I felt like I was meant to pursue in life. 
• After top surgery, I soon refound homebrewing and it is what gets me up in the morning, especially the days that I don't see a point of getting up. While some folks think beer is not for them, I promise you it is. For thousands of years, it has brought people together. It literally was the catalyst for starting civilization! This is the main aspect of beer I love, and I love being able to share beer and use it as an opening to conversations with my highly introverted self. Even having planning talks about opening a brewery/brewpub (as far fetch as it may seem right now) has made my mind sharper, I think more outside the box than ever before, and I see a lot of positive reinforcement from the world around me when I think this way. Its praised. It helps me find connection with others. And if nothing else, it gives me an ultimate goal that helps plan out my smaller goals in life. Small goals seem like nothing when you have an ultimate goal of running your own brewing establishment.
• I found a lot of myself through Strayer. Strayer didn't agree with me from the get-go. It wasn't for me, I didn't like the culture, and it took me a long time to warm up to co-workers. Through this period of feeling like I had made a terrible mistake in moving to Charlotte for this position, I had to stretch pass feeling like it was all Strayer's fault. Strayer didn't make me come here. I took ownership for the situation and had to work with what was in front of me.  Through this process of self-reflection and being able to honor and be grateful for what I already have, it made the days seem less bleak, my attitude towards life a little more positive. I grew in this position in ways that I don't even think my co-workers will know. I learned to say no. I learned that if I don't take care of myself, nothing else gets taken care of. And I learned that happiness is not free or just given. You have to make yourself happy, in whatever situation. Especially in a world that sees making a dollar worth more than your self-being. 
• I've got to reconvene with nature alongside my love and travel with them, garden with them, and figure out how we are going to maneuver through our lives. Overall consensus: We go after what we want and do what we love.

 There are two reasons why I decided to leave Strayer:

• Hard reality: my position was quickly becoming obsolete. That is where I will leave it at for public purposes. 
• Conscious reality: For-profit work isn't my forte. Granted I love when funds and energy are spent for the greater good of the community, but that isn't Strayer's bottom line. For-profit is the bottom line. 

 Don't get me wrong, I wasn't going to quit my job just because of some moral compass. I had a livelihood that depended on a paycheck, however much. And I wasn't  doing things that I felt were immoral or unjust. I needed Strayer and this position. That's why I don't fault people for staying, in spite of how they truly feel about the organization. People need to live and so did I. But as I continued to work and put in effort, and spin wheels and suffer from major daily anxiety, I continually felt like all this work for nothing because of the makeup of the overall corporation, and very much in regards to my position.

I'm happy to say that I will be working for the Charlotte/Mecklenburg Public Library system as a librarian at the Beatties Ford Public Library. I'm excited for my return to public librarianship. I feel this is where I have purpose and understand the overall purpose of the organization very well. I hope to learn even more in this experience. I hope to educate, learn, and continue to grow into an even better me. 2017 is definitely looking up! #hateorloveittheunderdogontop.