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I did a thing that I was pretty happy about

    I got published! And the main reason that I didn't write about it here earlier was that a) I didn't think it was that big of a deal. The contest winners won money and finalist were published in the anthology along with the winning entries. I won no money but was a finalist. One story in an anthology with a bunch of other ones. Not really a headliner. And b) the story was under contract for 3 months while it was sold on the website, so I couldn't post it during that time either. I don't think many copies sold and after the 3 month run, it is now unavailable, with my Momma holding the only physical copy. 

    What I did learn from this experience is that I wanted to do this more often. Connections with other people, especially with people that don't know you from anyone else off the street, found connection with something I wrote. 

    But of course I could be making all this up. The book is now out of print, even taken down from the website. But honestly, I don't care about that. The people that I want to believe me that I got published has the proof sitting in their house right now. I'm interested in connecting with others that I may not have ever encountered otherwise through writing. Hope you find a connection as well. 

How I'm Livin' by Zuri C. Davenport

    The prompt is “How did you survive 2020?” But did we really survive it? You tell me what has changed since we walked into 2021? Outside of Micheal B. Jordan being officially boo’d up, tell me what has changed? Corona is still killing more people than ever. The ugly truth of white supremacy showed its face once again, this time in the form of a mob on the Capital. Still broke and with a smear of constant panic. 2020 was a shit show. Our ancestors will use 2020 as an adjective for “royally fucked”. IE: He really got 2020’d over there. Or, “You want to 2020 they life up?”

So if we can all agree that 2021 is 2020.1, the question now is “How are you continuing to live through?” And the concept of living is different and relative. You can live through not getting the amount of likes you wanted on post. You can live through the loss of loved ones. You can live through the shit-tastic days of the past, present and future. You can live through the day. So if you are reading this, you lived through too and kicked ass doing it. Here are some of the things I’ve done continue to kick ass (at least kick the ass of the ever looming shadow of depression and mourning *nervous laugh* kidd...hell no I’m not):

  1. Black Twitter/Social Media: *insert slow clap to rounding, booming applause* Social commentary will be written about Black Social media during this time. Literal papers and articles (if there aren’t already) will be written about how a marginalized group reimaged a social media platform for political critique through humor. There were a lot of happenings this year that were hard to digest and process. Black Twitter helped that. Shoutouts to the quick wit and flawless victories with the giggles. 

  2. Yoga: Yes, highly appropriated white girl yoga. And even though I think that by getting my Black transman body down on the mat is a form of reckoning, is it? It’s really a time to check in with the one body I got. Asking myself, “Have you tipped over the mental deep end yet? Are you a bit sanier than you were yesterday? Maybe everyone has lost their minds and we don’t recognize sane interactions anymore?” Bodies like mine are often seen as expendable by many. It still needs to be checked in on. Also, laughing baby poses may look crazy on the mat, but it makes up for it in the bedroom. 😈 

  3. RuPaul: The more RuPaul Drag Race episodes that premiere during 2020, the more I’m convinced Mama Ru had a premonition years ago from the Universe to do the show exactly as they have done it for years. To showcase raw drag talent from a sequestered area in Los Angeles, it was pan-dem-ic rea-dy *claps between syllables*. RuPaul’s Drag Race has always been inspiring to me. To make an entire empire based on any artform is next to possible, but to make it into a global phenomenon, people need to take many notes. 

  4. Buddy: My dog Buddy has always been seen as family, but now that little dude is a bro. I’ve had obscenely long staring contests with him, watching his large irises expand and contract with excitement like a crazed but lovable animal. He would make a great work supervisor. He monitors everything I do like a warden, following too close behind to the point of near heel kicks to the jaw. He’s sat up late with me as I talked with my Dad in the hospital that we couldn’t visit. One time, a few weeks back, we just outright ran in an empty baseball field. As I ran in circles, he stayed close, tongue out, always looking in my direction, nearly to the detriment of himself. 

  5. Video Games: There was a time in the beginning of the pandemic where I felt like a game tester for Animal Crossings: New Horizon. Setting a schedule of what I was going to do in the game that day helped replace the very distant work/life schedule that had taken hold during Stay-At-Home orders here in NC. But what was even better than ACNH, were the players that created message boards, Discord channels, and group text communities. And while everyone was trying to see who had the highest markup for turnips, we were at least communicating, right? Also: Can you imagine ACNH in VR? No one would ever leave their homes. I wonder if that could have impacted Shelter-in-Place numbers? 

  6. History Lessons- There is something quite cathartic about learning and knowing the reasons why you feel a certain way you do. Why don’t I want to walk into this brewery right now? a) Corona, b) will white supremist bros there? Y’all pop off over anything c) how money circulates around me is way different than my white counterparts due to hundreds of years of purposeful subjugation and legally withheld financial gains due to race. I’ll take this to-go beer though. After I do a Google search to make sure the owner isn’t something crazy like racist. 

  7. Nature- If you haven’t already done so, get your ass out into some nature. Seeing vast oceans and lakes, mountains in the fall or just a drive through a park, makes you realize just how insignificant a lot of shit we worry about is. That ocean right there, could take out this whole state if it wanted too. That lake could have a skin eating bacteria that could eat your face off. The mountain may decide to turn back into a volcano and we have no say in what happens next. So enjoy what you can when you can. Just be. 


So I say cheers to the filthy animal that was 2020. May your predecessor 2021 have the odds forever in its favor (so help us God, Goddess and Universe).


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