Neo Sol Librarian

Note: I think when I'm saying societal norms, I really mean gender norms. But I'm posting as is because, you know, learning. Societal norms...I think I think about them more than the average person. Maybe I'm wrong. But as a transman, I'm forever having to think about societal norms. Most of it is really for my own safety (can't be too gay everywhere). Especially at work when I am immediately perceived as just one thing (a Black man) and am expected to act accordingly. And if I don't act accordingly, everything from rejection to an altercation can happen. Only when I think about the expectations that the public has of me simply based off my outward appearance does it become maddening. Some times, I find myself not saying much because of lack of what to say or how to react. Like car maintenance talk. If it doesn't involve deciding between high mileage oil changes and regular, I'm not that much of a conversationalist (I'm not even sure if I descri...

So the other day, I was walking my dog just like every other day. Here's Buddy. He's a cutie right? (Mine is in the front view. That other thing in the back, I don't recognize. KIDDING! It's my sister's dog, Max) Ok, walking the dog, going about my business. Got my headphones in, listening to Yvie Oddly's Giggin . You know, getting my morning blood flowing with my dog, right? Out the corner of my eye, I see something moving, quickly. As I turn my head, this very happy ecstatic Pit Bull, obviously off the leash, comes bounding towards us. My first instinct was to pick up my dog, so I did. My second thought is that this dog is going to get hit being out in morning traffic in Charlotte. So as I'm thinking this, I have my dog under my arm. And Buddy under normal circumstances is still a considerable heft and weight. But there is a dog in the picture. And of course at this point, I'm now yelling out "GO HOME! GO HOME!"  to the loose pit, atte...

I've been figuring out what is my own way of resisting. I honestly wanted to be at a rally. My Mom kept my sister and I at marching rallies as kids. Most of them were for making Martin Luther King Jr. a national holiday (yeah. Let that soak in like slow rain. I'm 31). Never anything to the magnitude of what we are seeing today. But there is a sense of community that is not felt throughout the everyday life of Black people that you feel at a rally. Everyone, hundreds of people, are there for the same reason. It's a feeling that I think white people feel all the time, but take for granted. People of color always walk in the room expecting to be othered. But at a rally, everyone who is not there for the purpose of said rally, they are othered. And not only are they othered, you have reasoning and support in the outsiders othering. Because you have a slew of people crying out saying Yes, I see your experience and I too have the same experience, and it won't be ignored.  ...

Been needing this GIF for so many reasons lately. And it's hilarious. via GIPHY

I'm tired of feeling like I can't do anything. I'm not going to wallow. I refuse to worry. And I will continue to resist so that I may live. And I'm going to live so loud today that I'm going to hype my own damn self up: I am a Black transman of Southern background. My parents know that I am trans. They don't understand, but they know and we still talk and have good times together.  My Grandma is 89 years old and thinks that I am smart and uses the correct pronouns when addressing me. My sister hung up on me when I told her that I told her that I was transitioning 9 years ago. She said that I would always be her sister and hung up. She called back 5 minutes later in tears saying that she was sorry. It's been Big Bro ever since. I stand on the shoulders of bootleggers, bail bonds professionals, teachers, ministers, dope dealers, alcoholics and the wayward. And that is just my immediate family.  Because I am a Black transman, my extended family is great as wel...

First, I apologize if the thoughts here seem incoherent. My emotions are raw today. One of the reasons I've stuck around with the library for so long is because it can be a bubble from the outside world. We as public servants run the atmosphere of our buildings. You have some libraries with great lively vibes. You have some that seem like mausoleums, quiet, revenant and protective of the information within. And some that seem like graveyards, long forgotten by the community, but still maintained if for nothing but face value. And sometimes those bubbles block out what happens in the real world. You even see it with patrons of the library. A person facing housing insecurity finding air conditioning on a hot day. An elderly person having a tech 1-on-1 so they can pay their bills via their phone. And even anyone coming into a library and checking out a book expects to have their perspective twisted and tickled in some way to imagine a world that is not a current reality. And as som...

If you've known me for over the last decade, you know probably two things for sure: 1) That dude is trans and 2) That dude that is trans also loves craft beer. (and if you know one and not the other, we probably have a very surface relationship, which is cool). And really, I love(d) craft beer (still trying to work through my feelings on it). Craft beer is still beer, but with better ingredients, more attention to details in taste, and usually brewed locally and on a smaller scale than your national beers (Coors, Buds, etc). I've had some of the craziest things coming out just my local breweries. Key lime pies, midnight cocoa, ceviche, margaritas. Gummy bears, pecan pies, even a pickle one once (which wasn't good at all. Wouldn't suggest spending your money on any of them. And I'm pretty sure they get sales so consumers can say "I had a pickle beer". Just like I did.) But beyond the beer aspect of it, the main reason I fell in love with craft beer was be...